You’ve Got a Friend in Me

Friendship is a sweet gift. Through the years, I have shared both laughter and tears with dear friends. The Lord has greatly blessed me with a handful of godly women who have become lifelong friends, even states apart. And while I have been immensely blessed with friendships, that doesn’t mean it has all been rainbows and roses.

As a young girl in elementary school, I experienced my first sting of rejection. One day at recess, my friend Laura handed Celia & I each a note. Laura said that we couldn’t share what was on the note and that it was to be a secret. Of course, curiosity got the best of us and we ended up telling each other what our note said! My note was a silly joke. And Celia’s? Well, she had been invited to a sleep-over at Laura’s that weekend. Ouch! The sting of rejection and the feeling of not being invited hurt deeply.

Several weeks ago, I was chatting with a dear friend about navigating friendships as an adult. Though it isn’t sleep-overs and passing notes, the sting of rejection and not being invited can still cut deep. Finding friends who share similar morals and lifestyles can be challenging. Forming friendships with genuine women who love Jesus can often seem difficult. Loneliness in the friendship realm can sometimes be all too familiar.

As I pondered that conversation and several other similar discussions, I began to evaluate some things in my own life. As I took it to the Lord in prayer, and as I searched the Scriptures to see what it had to say in regards to friendship, I felt the Holy Spirit’s gentle nudge. Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” First and foremost, Jesus is not only my Savior but He is also my friend. Secondly, in order to have friends I must first be a friend.

As a Christian woman, I know that only Jesus can truly satisfy my heart. But I also know that we were created for relationships and we were meant for Christian community. 1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5:11‬ says, “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.” Godly, gospel-focused friendships are incredibly important and they start with us choosing to be that kind of friend to someone else. But what exactly does that look like?

1. Jesus Focused

Any friendship built on the foundation of knowing Jesus and serving Him will prove to be fruitful. Even if that friendship lacks any other commonality, Jesus is more than enough. He breaks barriers and builds unity where otherwise there may be none. A friendship where both people love Jesus and walk with Him is a friendship that will no doubt be godly and gospel-focused.

2. Faithful

Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Did you catch that? It says at all times. Not only when it’s convenient or easy. A true friend loves through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Jesus doesn’t leave our side when things get messy! We must follow His example and remain a faithful friend even in the trenches.

3. Forgiving

A godly friend will practice forgiveness. As a Christian, we’ve been forgiven by Jesus for all of our many wrong doings. The least we can do is offer forgiveness when someone needs it. Scripture even goes as far as to say that we should forgive seventy times seven times, meaning there should be no limit to our forgiveness. “Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” Matthew‬ ‭18:22‬

4. Truthful

This specific quality of a godly friend can sometimes be overlooked. It isn’t always easy and it may not be appreciated at first but it is crucial. Being truthful, holding each other accountable, and calling out sin are some of the most important things we can do in a gospel-centered friendship. Scripture compares friends who edify one another to that of iron sharpening iron. (Proverbs 27:17) It also says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Proverbs‬ ‭27:6‬

5. Inclusive

Feeling rejected, left out, or excluded can be painful. Learning to reach beyond your “inner circle” to include new friends and those who might look different than you is choosing to be a gospel-focused friend. I firmly believe that as women, we can all learn from each other and sometimes that means looking beyond those who are in your current stage of life. If you are looking for godly friendships, start with the people God has placed around you and choose not to be exclusive. “And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew‬ ‭22:39‬

Godly friendships are a treasure. The reality is that no person or friendship will be perfect this side of Heaven. But with Jesus as our example and the truths of Scripture as our foundation, we can have godly, gospel-focused friendships that honor both Jesus and each other!